Tags: fatigue, fibromyalgia, Loudon Wainright II, RA, rhematoid arthritis, rheumatoid, Rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), sleep, tiredness
I love the song Dreaming by Loudon Wainright III, although he must have written in it one of his more depressed moments and it usually makes me cry, but I realise that I definitely can’t agree with the sentiments (which is no bad thing!), and in particular the last verse, so here’s his last verse and my fibromyalgia and RA-induced response!
Given that last night I dreamed I was a vampire with amnesia who had no idea why a friend of mine had vanished, because I’d forgotten I’d had her for breakfast, you can see why I’d rather have a good bit of deep sleep!!
Part of Dreaming by Loudon Wainright III
I’d rather be dreaming than sleeping
Just sleeping you’re just as well dead
In dreams I can fly
In dreams I don’t die
That’s why I lie here in this bed
Just sleeping you’re just as well dead
Sleeping by Pollyanna Penguin I
I’d rather be sleeping than dreaming
I think about dreaming with dread
In sleep I can heal
In sleep I can’t feel
That’s why I lie here in this bed
No sleep and you’re just as well dead
Tags: arthritis, fatigue, fibromyalgia, RA, Rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), tiredness
One really important positive I forgot to add to my last past was that because I already have RA I’ve been through so much of the crap that other people have to deal with when they first get their fibromyalgia diagnosis! I already know ALL about pacing myself (OK, so I don’t do it so well, but I know all about it), I’ve already learnt to deal with the guilt that comes of telling friends I don’t feel well enough to visit or whatever, and I’ve already learnt to live with the, ‘You can’t be ill – you look fine,’ attitude of people that don’t know me well. Perhaps most importantly, I have learned to tell my loved ones when I feel like death warmed up, and not to expect them to know as if by magic. Recently the importance of actually telling them when I felt pretty good also dawned on me – after weeks of feeling lousy, if I have a good day it cheers me up enormously, so it’s important to share some of that cheer with hubby, my mum etc!
Tags: 5 HTP, aches, aerobic exercise, amitriptyline, arthritis, consultant, deep sleep, exercise, fatigue, fibromyalgia, griffonia simplicifolia, lack of sleep, methotrexate, NHS, pain, RA, REM sleep, rest, rhematoid arthritis, rheumatoid, Rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), sleep, tiredness, weight gain
Well, I had my consultant appointment on Wednesday – saw one of the registrars who was really nice, listened, sympathetic, examined properly, no sarcastic comments or comments about how lucky I was to have RA mildly. (I figure no one’s lucky to have RA – full stop!)
She did drop a bit of a bomb-shell though, or so I felt at the time – that my symptoms indicated fibromyalgia as well as RA. Fibromyalgia symptoms are aches and pains in the muscles around some joints, serious fatigue and a feeling of general unwellness … sounds quite simliar to RA in many ways, only muscle based, and one of its old names was in fact muscular rheumatism.
Having got over the initial shock and feeling of oh hell, something ELSE to contend with, I can see some reasons to be cheerful though!
1. My sister-in-law has had fibromyalgia for quite some time now – grim for her, but it’s handy for me to have someone I can talk to who really understands what it’s like.
2. It’s not like having RA twice over – which was my initial feeling. Fibromyalgia (which makes you feel generally crap and all over achey, and actually affects muscles) is not progressive and not (if you can crack it) permanent.
3. The current most popular theory about fibromyalgia is that it’s fundamentally caused by a lack of deep sleep. People with fibromyalgia may be insomniacs, but just as often they’re people who seem to get plenty of sleep, but it’s REM sleep (dreaming sleep) rather than deep sleep, and that’s not good enough. And the good news is there ARE things I can do that can improve my sleep.
4. There IS a drug that’s often successful in curing fibromyalgia if given in small doses (amitriptyline) but it has some unpleasent side effects including weight gain, the last thing I need! But before I try that there are also things I can do to try to balance my own sleep pattern. These are getting aerobic exercise (kinda tricky with RA but I’m working on it), having a regular routine and going to bed at similar times each night, reducing tea and coffee (a real challenge for me, but as most of it is instant and decaf I don’t think it’s much of an issue really) and possibly trying a supplement derived from griffonia (griffonia simplicifolia) seeds, called 5 htp, which increases seratonin in the brain and may help to improve sleep.
5. Because there are things I can actually do to help myself, however challenging they may be, I actually feel empowered – I feel I have a chance to kick this latest thing right back, whereas with the RA I feel, I suppose, pretty disempowered; I just have to lie back and hope the meds work.
So … right now I’m feeling surprisingly positive about the whole fibromyalgia side of it. Let’s hope I can keep up the exercise, regular bed times etc. and that that actually does do the trick. As to the RA, I’m on an increased dose of methotrexate although the consultant was wondering if I was just one of those people it wasn’t going to be great for – but having had a very good response to it early on, she and I both think it’s worth a shot to give it another few months on a higher dose. After all, in the UK on the NHS with mild RA, there’s not much alternative!
Tags: fatigue, lack of sleep, OT, RA, stress, tiredness, vicious circle
Well after my last ‘but feeling OK’ post, I came a-crashing down last Thursday. Just felt awful, dead tired, in lots of pain, the whole shebang. So instead of my usual ‘I’m busy, I must push through this’ approach, I said to myself, ‘you’re the boss Penguin, GO TO BED!’ That IS supposed to be the advantage of being the boss, after all, although usually it doesn’t seem to work out that way.
Anyway, I did that. I got a total of eleven hours’ sleep that afternoon and night, after having had three nights with less than five hours, and while I can’t say I felt like a new penguin on Friday, I felt a heck of a lot better than I had, and I ended up having a very enjoyable and active weekend.
So – I guess this suggests that the OT is right about the vicious spiral and all that, and that I broke the circle/spiral by stooping and resting. Then again … maybe it’s just coincidence. That’s the trouble with RA – it’s so hard to tell!
Oh well – I feel better; that’s what matters!
Tags: cats, cats and illness, embroidery, Rheumatoid arthritis, stress, tiredness
Having had a wonderful relaxing day on Saturday, I felt full of beans on Sunday and did lots of sorting out and tidying, as well as a thrilling trip (this is sarcasm, for those of you who might doubt it) to the DIY store. Of course I was pretty shattered by Sunday night and no longer feeling the benefits of Saturday. DOH! I really should know better by now.
At least enormous cat and middle-size cat did their best to make me relax in the evening. I was trying to do some embroidery and it involved wielding a huge embroidery frame – the two of them made sure that was quite impossible as enormous cat sat on my lap and middle-size sat on my chest. Tiny cat remained aloof, but I think she was laughing.
The cats certainly do seem to often know when I’m really not well and make a point of coming and snuggling up, but I think this time it was just a case of enormous fancying a lap and middle-size getting jealous!