Another flare, another existential crisis…

OK, I’m exaggerating. The flare is real, the existential crisis not so much, but I am wondering whether to continue this blog, as all I do these days is post occasionally to say, ‘Hi guys I’m flaring’ and then not post for months because I have nothing to say about RA, thanks to being pretty healthy between flares!

So first the flare. It followed my usual pattern, which seems to be unique to me. Last week I felt kind of mildly fluey and did actually have a bit of a cold, lost my sense of taste briefly, which meant I had to get a COVID test, but thankfully that was negative. With the fluiness came general joint and muscle aches, and then guess what? It kind of ‘settled in’ to an RA flare in my left knee, as usual. The knee was niggling Tuesday, not very good Wednesday and absolutely awful Thursday, so on Friday I took my courage in both hands and contacted the doctor.

It’s sad that it takes courage to contact the doctor, but after my experiences over the last 12 years it does. This time though I was in luck. I think COVID actually worked for me. He didn’t say, ‘You must phone the hospital helpline first’ because he knows they’re overworked and understaffed and rushed off their feet. He DID listen to what I had to say and actually said, ‘Well you’re the patient; you know your body best, and how it responds.’ Very few doctors, in my experience, ever accept that! And he DID prescribe a short course of prednisone, which is exactly what I wanted.

I was able to start the steroids on Friday and, I suspect because I didn’t have to wait too long before starting them, they are working marvelously – better than ever before. The trick now is not to overdo things because I feel so much better.

Within three days of being unable to bend my knee, in intense pain, really struggling to walk from my bedroom to the loo, and waking up in such intense pain that I nearly threw up, I was back at work, and now, after six days, I have nearly normal ‘bendability’ but just have to be careful not to overdo it, or it does start aching like heck.

In other news, I had a surprisingly positive consultation with my consultant a few months ago, which is mostly ‘off the record’ as I gave him the lowdown on my unhelpful helpline experiences, which he found quite fascinating! I was fine at the time, as I usually, luckily, am, so there was no need to discuss changes in treatment etc. and of course it was all done by phone so no examination either.

I’ve also been spending a LOT of time crafting (although not in the last couple of weeks obviously!)

In a moment of madness, thinking that COVID would cause my main business to slow, I started another business making hand-marbled scarves. Trouble is … my other business has NOT slowed, so now the scarf one is kind of sitting on a very back burner but I’m kind of ‘burning’ to get one with it, because it’s so much more fun than the ‘real’ job! Oh well, ce la vie!

And now you can see why I’m a little busy and wondering whether I can no longer do justice to Pollyanna. I used to use this blog not only to have a bloomin’ good moan (or once in a blue moon say something positive) about the NHS, but also to post educational stuff about RA, encouragement to new sufferers etc. but I’ve not really done that for a while.

Perhaps it’s time to put Pollyanna permanently to bed and let her rest her knee for ever!

6 thoughts on “Another flare, another existential crisis…

  1. I understand your struggles. My blog goes unattended for weeks or months at a time. I’ve shifted my attention to other things and other social media channels. But I go back to why I started the blog in the first place and that was for me. I never expected anyone to read it ever. Even when I don’t keep it up, it’s a great journal for me to go back and search the entries to see when I started a treatment, what my symptoms were, etc. But WAY more important than that, we (and by that I mean “I”) would miss you! Even if you feel like you only blog when you’re in a flare (and documenting that is important), it’s great to hear from you. Not only does your blog keep me connected to someone I feel has become a true friend, it gives me insight to the differences in our healthcare systems and life on the other side of the pond. You can always abandon/delete it if that’s what you decide to do, but you can never get it back. Please don’t!

  2. Aaaw, that’s so kind of you! You make some excellent points I must say. I too initially did it for me, not expecting anyone to read it …and I have actually used it in the past to remind myself of when and how badly I flared over six months or a year to discuss, if given the opportunity, with the hospital, and …well…I think I might miss it. I don’t think I’d lose touch with you, my friend, if I did though! 😊

  3. I cannot imagine a world without my buddy Pollyanna commenting about the world. Even if her world is about her flares. I hope you keep us updated.

    Now about those scarves. I saw one in Sheryl’s 2/3 rds of the closet the other day and in typical rick fashion I wondered, how does one of those work? Well hell 2.5 hours later i got untangled and later I was informed that if I wanted one I needed to go buy it and stop messing with hers. Hmm. want one? I nearly lost my life in one. so my advice? Make them with snaps so husband will not get stuck and then be found in situations that may seem less than manly.

    By the way do not tell any one about this. My man card is already in serious jeopardy of being revoked.

  4. 😂 And if I stopped posting I would lose out on your ridiculous replies, and I’d hate to do that!! 😁 So another tick in the keep on going (now and then) box!

  5. While I understand completely your being unsure about continueing to blog, please know that I’d miss your occasional posts and miss YOU, my friend. I haven’t done any blogging for a long, long time either. But lately, it’s been calling to me, faintly…
    Your scarves are gorgeous! And I’m glad you got that flare under control with such surefooted aplomb. Experience counts for something!
    Be well, Polly. Blog when the muse tickles you. I, for one, am always looking forward to the resutl.

  6. Miss you too, and your blog – you were possibly my first ever subscriber and commenter, although I’m not 100% sure about that! Thanks for your kind words…and glad you like the scarves too. 😁 I think you and Carla and crazy-man Rick have convinced me to keep going …now and then. 😊

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