I met up with a friend yesterday who I haven’t seen for ages, in spite of the fact that we work in the same tiny town. It was great to see her but I was somewhat dismayed when she asked me about my arthritis and then told me that her husband seemed to be suffering from what appear to be RA symptoms too.
‘One of his fingers is permanently hooked now,’ she said, ‘and sometimes when he goes to open a jar or something he hand locks around it and I have to force the fingers open one by one. I hate doing that, it’s gross.’
My immediate reaction was something like ‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghghhhggh!’ This was partly for the grossness and partly because you MUSTN’T do that. ‘Every time you force his hand open you’re damaging the joints more!’ I nearly screamed.
‘Well,’ says she with a shrug, ‘what else can we do?’
‘What treatment is he on for it?’
‘Oh he isn’t on any treatment. He’s not been to the doctor about it.’
Did I mention Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghghhhggh?
Well … erm … that might be your answer about what else you can do about it then! Now I know some people don’t want to go on treatment and have some success with alternative therapy or diet, and the very best of luck to them, but he’s not doing that either. He’s just ignoring it and waiting for it to go away. What makes it worse is he has a very active, physical job and he really NEEDS to be able to do this stuff.
On reflection, perhaps that’s why he’s not going to the doctor – he’s terrified of being told that he shouldn’t/can’t carry on working, so he’s just trying to ignore it. I can kind of sympathise with that … but he’s still crazy if you ask me!
Pollyanna Penguin's RA Blog 
Wow–the poor guy. I suspect it’s fear that’s keeping him from the doctor’s office, Polly. The symptoms are just too severe and debilitating to ignore–even for a tough guy. You were absolutely right to explain to your friend why her husband shouldn’t force “frozen” joints into movement. What a difficult situation!
I hope your weekend is going well and that you’re either pain-free or gently medicated/mitigated. Sending hugs your way and empathy to your friend and her husband.
Wow… what a wife…:) I will say that even though i’m in treatment, it’s still hard to tell which is RA and which is just the Osteo style….Doc did explain that RA is pain in the Joint and swelling,,, not overall swelling i had in my feet and leg.. that is another issue according to him,,, and he knows his stuff… but the pain in my hips and stiffness is mainly osteo i’m told… so can you help me by discribing an RA flare in as much detail as you can? The only time (that’s when i had bloodwork and was diagnosed) i had one was a huge bulge/swelling on the top of my hand, and i think severe pain in my leg radiating from thigh to ankle which just went it’s course… Any input would be appreciated… thanks Barbara